Gary Greene’s Memories from an Old Hunter………#13
Jerry Seinfeld always stated that his TV show (1989-1998) was: “The show about nothing!” …….without his success and really without much success at all, or possibly no success, I kind of see myself as the Jerry Seinfeld of outdoor writers. Basically, regarding my past experiences revolving around hunting, I write about nothing. Each week, I attempt to write about some event or events in my lifetime, that were very memorable to me, but to the average reader, who knows?
So I say I write about nothing. Growing up, there was a creek next to my home…..there’s a story. I read Outdoor Life magazines as a child……there’s a story. Growing up, my best friend didn’t hunt…..there’s another story. You get the idea, and if you have read any of my memories, you know, I am relaying the truth.
Greene's dog Elsie with the retrieve. (2012)
Each of you must possess some memorable hunting moments that have stayed with you for your entire life. Possibly, a hunt you spent with your father or grandfather. Possibly, a particular shot that you made that was difficult and unique, or an amazing retrieve your dog made that you will never forget.
Here’s an interesting fact about dogs and dog ownership. Hunters have been known to stretch the truth about their dog’s capabilities. In a recent survey, when bragging, we bragged about our high income, our great love life, or our fancy cars/trucks. However, the number one most bragged about item on our list, was us bragging about our own dog’s capabilities. I have not met many hunters, who will tell me that there dog just really stinks.
I have been a pheasant hunting guide for seven years and most hunters that hire me to guide, do so because they do not have their own hunting dogs. One hunter mentioned that when he is alone he will hunt with his own dog, but if he needs a good hunt with his business clients, he will always hire a guide with professional dogs. My dogs retrieve over 1200 pheasants a year. For an occasional hunter it is very difficult to get that much bird/dog experience. They just don’t have the time or the resources.
At times, just prior to our hunt, there are the hunters that will tell me: “Oh, I forgot to mention, I have my dog in the car, he’s real good, and I want to run him today with your dogs.” That statement always sends shivers down my spine, like the new year’s day, my son Nate and I polar beared our way into Lake Michigan. I’ll ask if they have an electric collar on their dog, and the most common response is that their dog doesn’t need one. With that statement, I now know, I am in for a challenging hunt. With that scenario, in the shoulder high switchgrass, their dog usually will get too far out a head of us. The hunter will lose track of his dog and he will repeatedly yell, but the dog is on a bird and doesn’t really care what dad has to say. I put bells on my Labradors in thick cover, so the hunters and myself, have an idea where my dogs are located. Their dogs never wear bells. We will finally know where my client’s dog is because a hundred or more yards ahead of us there are flushing pheasants. With that result, the hunter will usually look at me and say….”I told you he was a good dog. He’s got a great nose.” I continue to request that he keep his dog closer, so we can actually get a legitimate shot.
An unknown pheasant hunter and his: "The best pheasant dog I ever owned!" (Circa 1999)
Many times during these hunts, the undisciplined dog is also a poorly conditioned dog. After about 30 minutes, usually that dog will be walking alongside or behind their owner and then my dogs can correctly hunt the fields.
I did have one hunter with his own dog that did perform fairly well. However, during our hunt, 100% of the time, he talked to his dog. My afternoon consisted of me listening to the hunter’s monolog: “Good boy, that’s my boy, where are you boy, good work boy, find the bird boy, are you hot boy, need a drink boy, come on boy,” and for the next two hours it continued. When you constantly talk at your dog, the dog will tune you out. Your voice becomes one in the same with the wind and the thrashing of the grass. The interesting trait of that dog was that it tracked and flushed pretty well, but it never took one step in the direction of a retrieve. As soon as a pheasant was shot, the hunter would put down his shotgun and sprint after the bird. I still smile as I picture his sitting dog, taking a break, watching his master hurdling thigh high sorghum, as his shotgun shells from his vest became airborne like exploding popcorn.
I have guided a gentleman for several years, and this one time, he shows up with a six month old yellow Labrador. He proceeds to tell me that he hasn’t worked at all with the dog. He bought the dog on a whim from a local pet store. He had stopped just to look and bought the poor dog stuck in the little crate.
He wanted to run his inexperienced dog with my dogs, so that his dog would learn from watching mine work. There might be some limited truth to that theory, so I didn’t question him. We enter the field and his dog is cautiously walking behind him. Just a few minutes into the hunt, my dog flushes a pheasant and he shoots it. My dog makes the retrieve as his dog instantly disappears. We searched for hours, but we never found the dog in the six foot high switchgrass or the eight foot tall corn. The dog was wearing an ID collar and two days later, the owner received the welcomed phone call. His dog was found shivering and hiding under a patio picnic table, in a backyard of a home, three miles east of our hunt. That dog has not seen a hunting field since, but is reported to be the perfect lap dog.
These memories started out as a story about nothing…………and it turned out to be just that!
If you care to comment on my memories, I can be contacted at ganggreene2002@yahoo.com (Fourteen years ago, it seemed like a clever email address, but currently, not so much!)